Dani 的个人资料是鏡子髒了?還是臉髒了?照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
|
|
Sunburned + KMPG Presentation Spent the whole afternoon with M on his roof terrace... stupid like me, forgot to put any sun lotion(dont really have one actually), anyway, I got serious sunburned on my face. The story between us went a bit out of the control... jesus.. what we doing... Went with SIFE team to Amsterdam KPMG for presentation, with my red little funny face. whatever, what important is not the way I'm looking, but the presenting ;) well, the presentation went pretty good I will say, althought in the middle of my part, I was laughing and simply just could not stop... dont know even why... hope this is not gonna happending in the national one!!! Queen's day is coming soon, planed with Dara to Amsterdam!! will be happy if I just can borrow my normal skin again for like one day? I pray~ I beg~~ Happy Birthday To Me ;) I AM GETTING 22 TODAY !!!!!!! unstructured diary made by unstructured mind F**king tired recently... Now I'm just back from work and dying on my couch... endless case study...weekly reports...strategy presentations...bachelor dissertation...internship application, interviews...practice manager orientation...4 tests...preparing presentation for SIFE(Students in Free Enterprise) national competition, which I cant even explained by myself why am I doing it... got mentally torturing by Mr."the man from wetland" - stupid translation. I wanst only lost my passion but also the positive thinking way...What make me sad is not the loving part but more as a friend. Now I'm sitting on the sofa, seriouly thinking about what if this is gonna be my life? Few days ago, I was complaining that guys always being childish, they never know what they want, when they got a little stress, they just simply running away. My friend then ask me: so do u know what u want? I couldnt answer it. yes, what do I want? On one hand I want unlimited freedom... Got only too much plans for myself and only for me, cant really incl anyone else... but still I'm sick of playing around. all by myself, this is fine.. its just somehow got tired... got jealous by those who s having a easy life... Sometimes fate throws two lovers together, only to rip them apart... The big question mark?? actually I'm not wondering... u r too complicated just like me, I guess u wont understand urself either. (here normally u will tell me that I made grammar mistake, that I should use "too" instead of "either", but , NO! I insist, do I look like I care about grammar?)I just couldnt stop laughing when I thought of ur busy busy "projects" and what so ever.... Now I look at the T- shirt, with super big letter on it says: I DONT LOVE YOU!!! wake up girl~~ r u freaking losing ur mind? Mum told me that growing up is not about making the right decision, it's about knowing how to handling the decision we made... I dont know about that... But we do made the decision together.. so live with it please!!! Face the reality!! Where am I headed? No where in particular I guess. Then how am I suppose to know when I got there??? In two weeks, its got be nightmare again... but in 12 weeks, I will get rid of all these... Hallo to SA ;) Smile because it happenedWe walked along a street at night, you took my hand and danced with me. Images And when you left you kissed my lips, you told me you will never never forget these images I will never forget the feeling when I step on your feets and you swayed with me in the kitchen. I will never forget that we standing on the roof in the New Year's Eve, enjoying your fireworks. I will never forget in the morning, first sunshine go through the windows, on your face, your sleepy face.  And I will smile because it happened. Tschüß, my almost loverGoodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life? Tschüß S Tomorrow will comeA few hours left 'til the sun's gonna rise
Tomorrow will come an it's time to realize Our love has finished forever How I wish to come with you How I wish we make it through
Just one more chance Hold me tight and keep me warm Cause the night is getting cold And I don't know where I belong The wine and the lights and the Spanish guitar I'll never forget how romantic they are But I know, tomorrow I'll lose the one I love There's no way to come with you It's the only way to do I fake a smile so he won't seeHe looks at me.
I fake a smile so he won't see what I want and I need and everything that we should be.
He talks to me. I laugh 'cause it's just so damn funny, I can't even see anyone when he's with me. He walks by me.
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly. The kind of flawless I wish I could be He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right. I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night.
I bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about.
And she's got everything that I have to live without.
She better hold him tight, give him all her love, look in those beautiful eyes and knowing how lucky she is. Cause...
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
He's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do. He's the time taken up, but there's never enough,
and he's all that I need to fall into.
So I go home alone, as I turn out the light.
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight. ...He looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see. The tough step我知道这是一段不被看好的恋情. 还有两个月他就毕业了. 或许到时会后悔, 如果不曾开始也就不会有痛的分离.
我知道有很多阻碍.
聊了很多,我们知道他们都很难接受我们在一起.
I dont know, we will see. Its now a real tough step we facing. Just wanna give a try.
its time to stopI wanna believe you
when you tell me all those excuses
I try to believe you
but I don't
I've try my best
and its the time to stop 同桌的你僅以此文紀念6嵗那年我認識的7嵗的你. 界于天才和白痴之間的你.
有時候在想自己真像是一個老人, 沒事縂愛想以前的事. 懷念自己的童年,儘管那不能算是很久很久以前的事, 我卻覺得像是過了好久好久的樣子. 有些人的懷念是充滿笑聲的, 而我卻總是以哭泣收聲, 越是快樂的回憶,越是讓我深陷在那一個個不復返的片段中,不能自拔.
從什麽時候開始,我又想起了同桌的你. 幾乎是我人生的第一個朋友. 第一次遇見你,是在外婆家對面你家大門口, 大人們熱烈討論着我們即將入學的事. 開學了,沒想到我們竟然是一個班的,而你還神奇的成了我的同桌.
我還記得那段形影不離像是雙生子一樣的日子. 每天不是在你家翻天覆地就是在我外婆家搗亂. 還記得你的爺爺總是很和藹可親,叔叔阿姨也總是對我很熱情,做很多很多好吃的"慰勞"兩個辛苦的玩了一天的小朋友. 我不去和別的小女孩踢毽子跳皮筋,卻成天和你混在一起. 哈哈. 我們一起拿大把的火柴燒路邊的麻袋, 就是從那時候開始我得了火柴恐懼症,以至於初中化學課被老師留下來討論爲什麽我不肯點火柴的問題. 我們一起去學校爬竿子,倒挂在單杠上面聊天... 現在想來這些都是爲什麽我成不了淑女的罪魁禍首.
還有那些桌子上我畵的三八綫, 越綫就打手的威脅, 吵架時候的書本大戰. 那時候你跑步很快,但是每次都是仰着個頭跑的,因此而得雅號: 朝天瘋子.
印象最深刻的是, 一次在外婆家聽到敲門聲, 爸爸開的門, 你怯怯的問我在嗎, 爸爸說我不在, 我聽到了連忙大喊我在啊我在啊, 但是爸爸還是執意不讓我見你, 後來你還是走了. 我大哭了一場, 媽媽和外婆都說爸爸這樣實在是太不好了,欺騙小朋友. 後來我去你傢,阿姨說那天你回去后傷心地哭了一整天. 我很感動也偷偷得開心了下, 後來也有很多事很多人讓我感動,但是隨着時間的推移,慢慢的,我都不再記得了. 我只記得,那年,你和我,因爲不能一起出去玩,各自大哭了一場, 而這件事我記了十多年,我想或許會記得一輩子. 直到現在我還會跟爸爸埋怨他當初的"惡行". 其實他還是蠻喜歡你的,一直覺得你很聰明(我給你吹得). 哈哈.
在我的記憶裏你一直很優秀,雖然跟我一樣愛玩,但是成績一直很好. 有一年的期末考試, 數學附加卷我和你拿了並列全班第一97分. 我現在要承認最後一題我是偷看你的... 並且從小學一年級開始我就偷看你數學考卷n次.娃哈哈,你一直米有發現. 不知道是因爲你太笨還是我太聰明. 咳咳.
也有一些不好的回憶. 好像是三年級的春遊吧,一大早的全班小朋友都很興奮的聚集在一起等待出遊, 這是一年中最值得期待的一天呀. 你來了,卻愁眉苦臉的, 我問怎麽了,你想了想說: 我告訴你,但是不要跟任何別的人說. 我答應了,於是你就告訴我原來是你爺爺去世了,我也很難過,但是因爲那個時候的我對春遊實在是太期待太興奮了, 一會就不再陪着你難過了,並且非常不好的是我告訴了很多人你的"秘密". 不知道是不是因爲我潛意識裏非常内疚,到現在還記得. 縂覺得這證明了我是一個不值得信任的人.555
快樂的事很多,童年卻隨着老房子的拆遷而結束了. 你搬走了,我也換了幾個同桌了, 友情好像也在不知不覺中划上了句號...
對你最後的記憶是初一時的同學會,你一身花上衣花短褲,我們都笑說這是夏威夷風情.
有時候真想像小時候那樣, 友情就是友情, 玩就是玩,什麽男人女人弄不領情的.
但是那不可能了對不對? 因爲我們都長大了. 空欢喜一场早上做了一个美梦，醒来反而难过的不得了，竟然只是个梦呀。。。
梦里我开心的笑着，那种喜悦，我已经很久没有了。 可惜只是个梦呀。。 Depression浑身无力，思维迟缓，优柔寡断，对任何事都提不起兴趣。。。 做了个测试，发现自己似乎有轻度抑郁症。 星期五见到以前的同学被问是不是有不开心，整个人都散发出悲伤的信号。。我说没有啊。
晚上突然莫名其妙的大哭了一场，不知道到底是为了什么。。是因为S的失约？因为一整天都没有写论文而对自己的愤怒？
是的，确实因为Ｓ而感到失望。我想我是不太明白这个处女座的男人到底在想些什么。他在顾忌M吗？还是纯粹的迟钝？？you bring me hope then cut me down... over and over again
回到我的抑郁症。
测试里面有问最近食欲有没减少，如果能减少我倒是非常之高兴了。。
有没对平常感兴趣的东西缺乏兴趣。。。有， 帅哥。
有没觉得变懒了。。。 我早就懒得无法再更懒了。
哎~ 好像还能自我调侃一下。。看来还有得救。。不过。。真的。。没有理由的就是真得开心不起来。
总觉得自己是个很矛盾的人，永远无法满足。我从来都不曾知道过自己到底想要什么。
很需要歇斯底里的大声尖叫一下。 錯的總是我?今天上課我被扣了一分,原因是我的發言太多了,沒有給別人留機會說些什麽...指出我這個巨大錯誤的正是那幾個每次上課都拿最低分的人...其實大家都明白即使我一句話不講,她們也不會做任何發言...as usual, 她們根本就沒有有價值的答案在腦子裏... 想起前幾個module我們班一個很強的德國女生,有次上課,被指出因爲output太多,所以沒有照顧到別人的感受,沒有幫助引導那些沒想法的人..結果就被扣分了...我現在能理解她當時的感受了.當時覺得似乎特別可笑,..現在覺得..真的很可笑.
我想我是不會改變的,也許需要改進,但沒必要改變.. 唯唯諾諾有話放在心裏,那就不是我了. 從小就是這樣,老師會出錯,書本會寫錯,何必迷信權威? 即時這樣得罪了很多人,但至少,我沒有迷失自己.
我想我對謙虛這兩個字的理解和很多人不一樣吧.. 謙虛與我意味着不刻意炫耀,内心要清楚自己的不足及短處,但對於自己有把握的事,爲什麽不大聲說出來?
平庸在我眼裏,永遠不是一種美德. 新版本来啦今天下午和朋友聊天,我的故事又有新版本啦.
听说我整过容? 哎我还真是要不好意思了,没想到我都漂亮到这个程度了. 想起高中里一堆不认识的女人说我化妆(还好不是整容),除了我们班的人其他几乎都是对这个说法深深信服.那时候好生气啊, 就因为我眉毛很浓就说我化妆了..在11中这么严的学校里,化妆也是需要勇气的... 想起高一的时候因为把眉毛稍微修的细了点被年级组长骂了一个晚上... 连爸爸都叫来了...555
经过这几年,再爆炸性的故事我都听过了,各种版本的可谓无所不有无孔不穿啊...整容还真是小巫见大巫了.
不过,我说,你们就不能让我清净清净? 王子公主~bla~bla~總覺得自己快瘋了...好像我已經快忘了愛一個人和被人愛著是什麽感覺了.
晚上和一個匈牙利的女生一起吃的晚餐,她星期天就要飛去巴西了,因為她的男朋友回巴西了,而她受够了不能在一起的日子,就退學了.爲了男人而放棄自己的生活,我想我應該是不可能會下的了這個決心的,也許她是傻,但当她笑着对我说:I'm so in love时,我卻無法忽略我心中那點小小的羨慕. 有時候看著身邊的一對對戀人,我很不解,是什麽讓他們走到了一起? 我们耗尽一生追求的爱,与我,又在何处?
灰姑娘变公主的故事是不存在的,除非你自己是公主,否则别指望王子来给你穿鞋.可笑的是每个女孩都以为自己是公主,除了少数的特别清醒的和那些实在差到无法欺骗自己的.
而我呢,也是那万千傻女人之一,我相信爱情,相信有那么一个我的王子,只是我的脚太大,也不知道穿不穿的进他的水晶鞋... 身体是革命的本钱虚脱..半条命去了.
希望我的身体能够快快复原. 身体是革命的本钱啊.
菩萨,请一定保佑我啊! I will be there for youWhen life isn't easy and you wonder if anyone understands what you're going through. I want you...to reach out to me. Even if we find ourselves miles apart. don't ever forget that my heart is filled with so many hopes for your happiness.
I want you to fell like you can tell me everything that's on your mind. I want to be able to help you find a lot more smiles and make your days more joyful and filled with all the serenity you so dearly deserve...
When you wonder if there is anyone who cares completely and unconditionally, look my way. Let down your guard, and know that it's okay to bare your soul with someone who knows you as well as I do. When you need to talk things out, realize that you'll find a very loving listener... in me.
It doesm't matter what it's for; if it's important to you, then it's important to me. What matters most is that you gently remember. Sometimes two deads are better than one can be, and you can always count on me to be there for you. 权力曾经,我嗤之以鼻的东西-权力,在此刻竟显得那么的重要.
谢谢今天帮助我的朋友们. 废物男篮输了 男足输了 男排也输了...中国男人,你们在搞什么? J君的回答很经典,他们都搞女人去了. 小妹叫我息怒...偶还是很气愤. 我的发言引来众男人不满...K同学说:举重赢了... 这个世界从来都是胜者为王败者为寇. 大家都在说今天已经是历史上和美国对打比分差距最小的一次了,这就是个以五十步笑百步的回答.做人已经沦落到这么可悲的地步了.靠.又说和美国打从来就没指望赢. 就这么点出息我看打也别打了. 不想当将军的士兵不是好士兵. 大家都很奇怪我怎么那么气愤,我就奇怪了,输了不生气我还笑吗? 每年这些个没用的男人花了多少钱? 就是因为输惯了, 当年进个小破世界杯搞得跟大破世界纪录那么大呼小叫的, 女足年年进怎么没那么兴奋? 这个世界对男人和女人太不公平了吧. 大家也都在骂女足和女排, 原因呢? 不是因为现在烂到什么地步了,就是因为当年太光辉了, 但是没有一支队伍能保证风光个20年30年的,现在没以前好又怎么样了呢,也不想想男足男排男篮他就从来都没好过. 国人，请不要滥用你的宽容. 当你对一支队伍过度宽容,换来的也许不是进步而是自我满足.请大声呼喊:我们要的就是胜利. 足球是最最最丢脸的,凭什么说他就是欧美人的运动? 它还是中国人发明的呢... 在荷兰看欧锦赛的时候,家家户户都挂着橙色的旗子,满大街都是足球的宣传条幅. 半夜里总是能听到窗外传来的欢呼声. 欧锦赛半决赛德国对土耳其的时候,我正在柏林.为了看球我们跑到了市中心广场,结果去晚了不让进了,然后我们找了一个又一个的酒吧,最后终于找到仅剩的几个座位. 酒吧里满是欢笑的德国人. 每当德国进球时,人们欢呼着相拥,认识的不认识的, 比赛吹响终场的哨声, 德国赢了. 那个时刻,我身边的每一个人都跳了起来,他们大声的唱着德国国歌,我多么希望有一天我能为我自己的国家感到这种极度的兴奋啊, 但是在我眼前的只有这群金发碧眼的白种人, 这个由红色黑色和黄色所组成的国度. 夜晚的柏林街头,到处是烟火和吼叫着的人群. 我每天看着欧洲人在我面前吹嘘他们的足球,我能好受么? 中国足球,我真想有一天我也能为你欢呼,我也想把中国国旗给它插满荷兰的大街小巷. 又到七夕又一个七夕. 今天和几个lasbien一起过的. 有时候其实和女生在一起也挺开心的. 我的人生哦... |
|
|
